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Wedding Speech Etiquette 1 - Why it matters
(Courtesy of Fine Wedding Speeches)
"What did they think of my Wedding Speech?"
"They said: As they can't hold me up as a Shining Example
.... they'd just have to show me up as an Awful Warning!
..... They were joking of course. .
.... I think."
We have probably all been to a Wedding where a speaker didn't gauge how different the families were and said something that either upset or offended one side. To help you avoid this embarrassing situation plus looks that could kill from the bride's father, we have provided some useful hints about "traditional etiquette" below.
The first and most important principle to follow is that
the speech should be suited to the families and guests involved. For example, if a very casual reception is intended, do make this clear to the guests and speakers, otherwise they will be confused and uncertain of what is expected from them. Nowadays it is common to depart from the strict formality of the past, so guests can no longer rely on the 'traditions' to guide them.
In today's world the reasoning behind some of the traditions is no longer relevant, or their purpose is no longer appropriate. Many weddings, if not most, now involve brides who are older than 20; furthermore the new wife is often NOT financially dependent on the new husband.
If you are interested in the origins of older traditions, we recommend Wedding Customs & Folklore by Margaret Baker, which is amusing and easy to read. It includes superstitions, love tokens, bride stealing and lots more. If you think that the modern world is very 'liberal' and free about sex, just read what our ancestors got up to.
The world has changed, but there are certain customs that are still expected and nice to observe in celebration of the love and aspirations of the happy couple.
See our other articles on aspects of Wedding Speech Etiquette
Wedding Speech Etiquette 2 - The Context