Your Wedding Speech - Practicing

Make sure that you can tell the jokes!

If you find something funny it can sometimes be difficult to tell it to other people without ending up in a fit of giggles. This is amusing for the guests but does rather spoil the punchline. You may have an excellent joke or story but are forever stumbling over the punchline.

To get over these problem:-

Rehearse the joke out loud until it no longer makes you laugh.

Rehearse it in front of a mirror, until you can get all the words out smoothly.

Remember you might find a joke funny which others do not. If in doubt, check with friends.

Rhythm

Practice as many times as necessary to get the phrasing, the pauses, the timing exactly right.

One speaker recommends you should practise an hour in total for every minute in the speech. So for a four minute speech, four hours practicing. This is not excessive.

Speak the speech - don't read it in a dull monotone. Speak it as if you are talking in conversation. Modulate your voice up and down. The larger the audience, the greater the modulation needed.

Visualisation

How to "visualise"

How many people will you be speaking to at the reception? Bear this in mind and visualise them - imagine yourself projecting your voice and 'presence' to the back. If you visualise them you will be less likely to get stage fright on the Big Day, when looking at a sea of expectant faces.

Imagine yourself speaking clearly, don't rush it.

In your mind's eye see the audience - make eye contact with them and move your gaze around the room as you should try to on the day itself for optimum effect.

Visualisation is a great tool for any learned skill, including public
speaking.

Eye contact

Try not to have your eyes glued to your card. Read a phrase, look up and make eye contact, deliver it, look down for the next phrase. If you make a point of establishing eye contact with a different section of the audience each time, by the end of the speech you will have looked at and included everyone.

Practise your imaginary eye contact.

Snags?

Visualise how you will effortlessly recover from any little problems that might occur on the day:

You spill your glass of water - possible recovery => step back
from the spill, cover it with your napkin, apologise to the person sitting
next to you and ask for their help, turn back to guests and continue
... e.g. "well I knew I had to do something dramatic to get started".

The microphone is broken => you project your voice magnificently.

You lose your voice the day before => now this is a difficult one!
Have you got your speech completely written out (or typed) with headings
and highlights? - then perhaps someone else can stand in for you, preferably
after some hoarsely whispered guidance on the rhythm and timing which
you had planned.

What would I say/do if ? ....... (what else could go wrong?)

If you consider all the options, nothing will faze you on the day.

Practicing - and the reduction of stage fright

There are techniques you can use if you feel assaulted by stage fright
on the day (see "Performance"). You can also plan for
the possibility of stage fright, and take action in advance to prevent
or reduce it. It need not overwhelm.

Remember that most public performers will say that some level of nerves
is necessary as it demonstrates that you really care about the quality
of your performance and its effect on your audience.

Start by re-defining stage fright as being 'keyed-up and alert, ready
to give of your best'. This is not quite so 'punchy', not such a good
'sound bite', but it is a more helpful way of looking at things. Make
'stage-fright' work for you! That way it doesn't seem so frightening.

Even after effective practice you can still expect to have butterflies,
but you should find that once you start speaking on the day they will
fly in formation.

If you can stand the fear, practice in front of a friend (this is an
excellent dry run because it is often more frightening than the real
thing). Choose someone who is an encourager by nature and ask them to
give constructive advice on your delivery, projection etc. If you do
this it will help you enormously in getting over your inhibitions.

Try recording yourself onto a tape. You will hear your weak points
and your strong points. Do this a few times, work on the weaker areas
and you will hear a steady improvement. Check your modulation, does it
need greater emphasis?

As you rehearse your speech - Visualise the event, visualise how the
reception will go, visualise yourself speaking, and most importantly
visualise the guests laughing at your jokes - and give them long enough
to laugh after each joke before continuing.

If you are afraid of stage fright on the day, visualise now! Visualise
suddenly getting tongue tied, and then pausing, gathering your thoughts
looking at the guests, smiling at them and continuing onwards.

Remember:

Persistent
Practice Prevents Poor Performance

See our other articles on aspects of Wedding Speech Planning

Wedding Speech Etiquette 4 - The Toasts and Speeches
Wedding Speech Etiquette 3 - The Toastmaster
Wedding Speech Etiquette 1 - Why it matters
Wedding Speech Etiquette 2 - The Context
Your Wedding Speech 4 - Performance
Your Wedding Speech 1 - Planning
Your Wedding Speech 2 - Preparation

Wedding Words