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Wedding Speech - Performance
A few notes on alcohol
Some speakers unfortunately try to get over their stage fright by drinking alcohol. Nothing is more embarrassing to an audience than a tiddly speaker. It is amazing how silly a drunk speaker sounds. By all means have one drink, but if you really want to do a good job, save the majority of the drinking until afterwards - by then people will be buying them for you!
It's also a good idea to lay off tea and coffee. Caffeine will make your jitters worse. Stick to soda water, mineral water or fruit juice, but not too much because you do not want to be caught short during your speech. Did you remember the location of the toilet?
Stage fright first aid
On the day you will probably experience a certain amount of stage fright ("keyed up readiness - remember?"). Don't be afraid of it - no actor / comedian / speaker ever delivered a successful performance without a measure of fear.
However, stage fright can have unfortunate side effects - sweating, shaking, heart beating furiously, etc. There are steps you can take to minimise these effects before you speak, namely:
Find the time to take long deep breaths - breathe right in, deep into your belly; slowly breathe out. Do it repeatedly. It works.
- Breathe in for four counts.
- Hold your breath and tense your toes for four counts.
- Breathe out for four counts.
- You should feel tension easing.
- Repeat with feet, ankles, calves, knees etc., right up your body to your neck, chin, lips, eyelids, forehead and scalp.
- You should be able to sneak this in without anyone noticing while sitting at the table.
- If you have the time, repeat these exercises as necessary.
When all is said and done, even if you have practiced endlessly and got your delivery perfect, on the day you will probably feel nervous to some degree. In your nervousness you might imagine that you're shaking like a leaf and everyone can see quite plainly that you're scared stiff.
Consider these points:-
- The audience are on your side - most of them would be scared stiff
themselves. They're with you, not against you.
- If you don't transcribe your speech onto cards and you do shake while holding a piece of A4 paper, the shakes will be amplified by your speech flapping around like a windsock. See "Preparation".
- In practice almost every speaker is far more nervous than they look. You might feel nervous, but if you practice, prepare and deliver according to these guidelines, people will in all probability come up to you afterwards and say what a good job you've done.
- Get your audience to laugh with you - an excellent way to defuse your own tension and nerves.
Delivery
- BE CONFIDENT. You have prepared everything that could possibly be prepared for this moment.
- You have practiced a lot, your cards are in your hand, highlighted and underlined. You can have done no more. Be confident in that. The audience want you to do well and will not be critical. Remember that and be confident in that as well.
- STAND UP. Wait for complete silence - don't be afraid of silences and pauses, they can be as eloquent as words. Don't hurtle into the speech to get it over with as quickly as possible.
- Establish eye contact with the audience. Look around at every section of the audience. Remember your visualisation? Put it into practice now.
- Weigh your phrases, don't rush them. Really use your pauses. After a punchline, wait for them to jolly well laugh and don't start again until they have stopped laughing.
- Should they not laugh at a joke, it's not the end of the world. Some lines are intended mostly as links and aren't necessarily meant to be riotously funny. Move on to the next line and whatever you do don't accelerate through the speech just because they didn't laugh at one point where you thought they would.
- Remain measured, using your pauses to allow the audience to digest your words, get to the end, propose whichever toast is yours to toast, and sit down to take your applause.
Concluding Thoughts
A quick note for the Best Man: don't read all the greeting cards the Bride and Groom have received.
A lot of people dread the Best Man's speech because so many Best Men spend absolutely ages at the end of their speech endlessly droning through a stack of cards which all say much the same thing. By all means read two or three of them, perhaps ones specially chosen by the Bride and Groom.
You should by now be armed with everything you need - give it all you've got!
Good luck and best wishes for a successful day.
PS: Did I mention...
Persistent
Practice Prevents Poor Performance
See our other articles on aspects of Wedding Speech Planning
Wedding Speech Etiquette 4 - The Toasts and Speeches
Your Wedding Speech 1 - Planning
Wedding Speech Etiquette 2 - The Context
Wedding Speech Etiquette 3 - The Toastmaster
Wedding Speech Etiquette 1 - Why it matters
Your Wedding Speech 2 - Preparation
Your Wedding Speech 3 - Practicing